Keeping our heads above water

We have been truly blessed to have such amazing little boy’s. Over the past year we have had many up’s and down’s attempting to raise, or keep alive, two little ones. Caleb and I have talked a lot lately about life prior to them coming into our lives; what did we ever do with all that free time? Between finding out we were expecting twins, to bed rest, then our stay in the NICU, bringing home two babies that we were clueless on how to care for, to finally making it to their first birthday…. It wears me out thinking about it. Parenting is the world’s hardest job and something that you cannot truly prepare yourself for. I like to say it is either sink or swim… luckily we have been able to keep our head above water.

Each stage in their development has brought on new challenges and improved on others. We have two very independent little boys. To go anywhere it needs to be somewhat of a thought out process on when we are going to leave, what we are going to need to bring, what are we going to do if one of us even has to go to the bathroom? (Yes, sometimes that becomes a problem). Sometimes it is just easier to stay home, or get a baby sitter, or go but understand that we may have to just book it out of there before we have a melt down. There are times I look at parents with only one child and how they can just do things with ease but then I remember that their life is boring compared to mine and I am double blessed (and double exhausted). With our life we never know when Caleb is going to be home to help or when we may be able to go do something so I have learned to do a lot of things on my own. There are many times we go and visit Daddy where ever he is so he can at least see the boys so they are getting use to going to random places.

Memorial weekend we had the boys’ first birthday party. It was a “Seusstacular” with a Dr. Seuss theme. We had such an amazing turn out with friends and family all celebrating our wonderful children. I had so much fun planning their party and am already thinking about what to do next year and for their third birthday. I am a little terrified to see what I am going to plan for their 18^th birthday because it my head they keep getting bigger and bigger.

Luke is our little maniac. This kid is ornery and he knows it. He amazes us and makes us laugh so hard at how he can climb just about anything. I have found him on top of the TV stand, sitting on top of the coffee table, on the couch, in the toy boxes, in the wagon… you get the picture. He will go anywhere. Where there is a will, there is a way with Luke. Luke walked prior to their first birthday and quickly learned how to run. He has no problem throwing himself on the floor to throw a fit. We’ve already had to enforce timeout with him; this doesn’t always go well but it is the only way to actually get his attention that he is in trouble. His favorite thing to do is stand up on something he isn’t suppose to and clap his hands.

Dane is still a sweet little boy.  He will be the child that does a lot but doesn’t get in trouble for it, he’s sneaky. When he laughs it is contagious. He can easily get his feelings hurt so he tends not to get into as much trouble as Luke does. When you tell him to stop more than likely he will or just give you a huge grin and laugh, turn around and do whatever he was doing and then run to give you a hug. How can you get mad about that? His favorite thing to do is go over to Luke and bite him. We’re still working on this. Before he could walk he would get too frustrated because he would try and just fall down, he’s an old pro now. You can always count on Dane to be the first one to dance if music comes on.

Parenting is hard work but these two make it well worth it.

We have been on the go non stop lately so that has been why I have been lacking in my blogging. That and I've just been too lazy when I do have time. Here are a few highlights from the past few months.

Family Photo after all the festivities

They loved opening presents!

Luke 13 months old

Dane 13 months old

Luke & Mommy at the lake 4th of July weekend

Dane on the boat 4th of July weekend

Much needed update

I cannot believe it has been almost three months since I have updated the blog. We have had a lot of things going on between the boys, Caleb, and I. First, the boys are 10 months old; I don’t know where the time has gone. I have been thinking a lot about their birthday party which makes me realize it is right around the corner!




They have been crawling for a while now which keeps me on my toes. Usually I do not mind them crawling around the house but sometimes I need to contain them so we had to purchase a gate. The gate is working for now but Dane has been showing signs of being a climber, so we will see how well it works for the next six months. They crawl over each other, under things, over things, into things… you get the picture, they are on the move. My favorite part is when they crawl towards each other and laugh so hard they fall down, I laugh just thinking about it. They have been doing so many new things that make us laugh and of course, we do not get them on video because we cannot stop laughing. They also have been pulling up and cruising around things. We bought a dinosaur walking toy that they love and have really gotten the hang of. A lot of people tell us they will be walking soon but I’m not going to hold my breath because it could still be a while or it could be tomorrow! I remember thinking one day to myself, how in the world are they going to learn to go from their belly to sitting up, well, it happened the next day. Sometimes I am just amazed at all the things they learn and it is something new every day.



When it started to warm up I took the boys outside in their wagon and we went on a number of walks. They love to be outside. Unfortunately, weather decided it wasn’t done so we are once again, stuck inside. I ran my first 5k with the boys a few weeks ago for St. Patrick’s Day and they were so funny during part of it. They were talking up a storm (I was thinking they were cheering me on as we passed a few people) and kicking. You know they like it when they are ok with pushing back supper two hours! On the running note, I have been training for a half marathon and it is right around the corner, 6 days away to be exact. Caleb and the boys will be tagging along as well so of course I have to deck them out in shirts that will cheer me on! I will have to say I am not doing this half to PR but just to have fun. I have ran two other half marathons prior to having the boys but to be able to say that you ran one 10 months after having twins and before that you were on bed rest for 6 weeks, you’re doing well for even attempting to do it. It will make it even better seeing the boys at the finish line, even if they are unaware of what their crazy mother is doing.



We started allowing the boys to feed themselves a few months ago. This is a little early but from what a few people have told me they wished they would have started earlier and I will say, I’m glad we did. They have mastered feeding themselves and really prefer it. They will eat from a spoon but we usually always have to give them something that they can feed themselves. While they are at the babysitters they always have table food and usually will at home as well. We do keep it around just in case and also for when we are on the go. There for a while they were eating a lot of grilled cheese and cheese and chicken quesadillas but we found out that Dane is allergic to milk so we have had to revamp our menu. It has not even been a week since finding out Dane is allergic to milk and I’m already tired of thinking through what is in all the food we feed him, we could have a very long road ahead. I have seen a difference with switching his formula and switching to soy cheese and yogurt so it is well worth it.



Caleb had his biannual machinery auction yesterday, which went very well. It was too cold for the boys to make it out but I’m sure they will be there this fall and next spring helping Daddy and the ring men. Of course we had photos on hand for those that asked about them. Last year at the auction I was 26 weeks pregnant so many of the men were very interested to know about the boys.



Just a little more about the boys and then I will share some pictures of the past few months. Luke has started to lose a little weight because he is always on the move. He has become longer and thinner and has really changed. You can always count on him for a smile or to make you laugh. His favorite thing to do is shake his head no, mainly because we always have to tell him that. This kid finds it entertaining to continuously do things that he knows he is not suppose to do, saying no or even a little hand smack does not faze him. He is ornery. Dane is more of the lover, he loves to snuggle. You can always count on his for a good ol’ belly laugh. He has the most adorable laugh and does it all the time. He is the one who would rather stick to mom or dad. When we go someplace new he is definitely in “Stranger Danger” mode as we like to call it. Even if he knows some of them he still wants to stick to one of us until he is sure about everyone. They both have 4 teeth and are working on #5 and #6. Luke still has his helmet and we should be getting rid of that within a week, it has done an amazing job. Dane had surgery to remove a cyst on his belly button in February and everything is fine now. We have had a long winter of colds and ear infections but hopefully we will be over all of that now. While we have had a lot of little things happen throughout these last ten months that make parenthood a challenge it is all worth it because they bring us so much joy!
                                                      

Dane & Luke- 8 months

Dane & Luke  8 1/2 months
Valentine's Day

Riding in the waggon

Luke & Dane 9 months

Luke & Dane

9 1/2 months

                                                                    Luke 9 months

Dane 9 months

The past month at a glance

I have been slacking with my blogging but the past month has been a hectic one. Not only was it their first Christmas but we also turned 7 months old, picked up Luke's helmet, have three new teeth (Luke has two, Dane has one), and went to get our first haircut.

Getting a good picture of both boys is becoming a huge task. This one is my favorite out of the million pictures we took.

Luke

This child is a wild one. He never stops going, even in his sleep. It is always interesting to see the postions he has worked himself into in the mornings. Usually he is on his belly, proped up on his arms looking up, laughing and waiting on Caleb and I to come in to get them. He loves to be tickled! You can count on a laugh out of him. He has also started to have a mind of his own, which isn't always good. He knows what he wants and gets very frustrated if he can't have it. I'm a little nervous to know what he will be like in a few years. He likes to put both hands behind his head and shake his butt while laying on his back. Caleb likes to call it his Patrick Sawyze moves. We can't help but laugh when he does it. He has also figured out coughing will get our attention no matter what. Luckily we have become smart enough to figure out the difference between his real cough and his fake cough. Once you look at him during his fake cough he just laughs. Oh this child will be a handful. He also has two new teeth! Luke is also the main reason we went to go get haircuts. We have talked about if for a few months how he needed one but just never found the time to go and do it. After picking up his helmet and his hair still went over his helmet and was at his eyes, we decided it was time. He was such a big boy and did awesome! We went to Peggy's Barber Shop in Unionville where Caleb goes. Peggy has a dog, which Luke loves, so I think that helped him sit there. This child is also a bottomless pit. He can eat and gets so excited when he see's food. The past few weeks we have perfected our "pincher" and can eat puffs like no other.

Dane

Such a sweet baby. He loves to cuddle, which I don't mind at all. When he laughs it is a true belly laugh, there no sound that is as sweet as his little laugh. While he was the first one to roll, he is perfectly content saying around his toys. Luke will roll all over the room while Dane just watches him. He still loves to look at his hands and will study them all day long. Dane has a new fondness of Luke's helmet. I'm not sure what it is but now he thinks he can pound on Luke's head and laughs so hard while doing it. He can quickly get his feeling hurts. While he loves people, it takes him a minute or two to warm up otherwise, the bottom lip comes out. When he eats his feet never stop kicking. I think he would be perfectly ok with never having another bottle, just putting it in the sippy cup. He is just like brother, loves food and has perfected the self feeding of puff's. Dane is a lot like his mother, he loves his naps, likes to sleep in, and likes to go to bed early. He is happy in the mornings but it takes him a little bit to really wake up and become coherent. After spending the last few nights at my parents house, Caleb and I saw a picture of me when I was little, which could be the spitting image of Dane. Poor kid. At the end of December we finally got a tooth!

Luke's helmet:

Luke is doing amazing with his helmet. We went the 27th of December to pick it up. They gave him 4 days of breaking into it before he had to wear it most of the day. New Years Day was the first day of full time wear. He did excellent and it never even bothered him during his sleep. He is doing awesome and we are so lucky he doesn't mind wearing it. We take it off for about 5 to 10 minutes a couple times a day because he gets hot so we need to clean it out. We also take it off first thing in the morning and give him a 30 to 45 minute break and then we wash his hair at night, the helmet and he gets a little cuddle time (it is hard to cuddle with a helmet on his head) for about 45 minutes. They want us to have him wear it at least 20 hours but 22 is prefered. I would say we are doing great with that. We went for his first check and his head is shifting a little aleady. I can already notice a difference. The stickers to decorate his helmet came in so we will be putting those on tomorrow.

First Christmas:

Caleb's sister Shanee, her husband Jesse, and daughter Joya came home from India so it was a very special Christmas, but busy one. During this time Luke and I both had the stomach bug, luckily Dane did not have to go through the horrible experience. The boys did great with staying up late, lots of people, and lots of holding. I would say they also did very well in the gift department. Lots of toys and clothes, which was perfect! Daddy still needs to put together the other pedal tractor, let's hope that gets done before next Christmas!

Perkalator:

Caleb believe's his tractor is part of the family as well. It did not make the Christmas card this year. He really wanted me to put a note on there that the Perkalator will be making the card next year that she is in the shop being worked on. You can only imagine my response to that. So yes, I am updating you all on what is going on. Caleb is moving up a class and we will be going to our first pull with the new Perkalator in January at Gordyville. I am also going with him and leaving the boys with Grandpa and Nana Perkins for a couple days. It will be good for us to get away together but this isn't exactly what I would call a real getaway, at least for me.

New cousins:

The boys have a ton of cousins and the family keeps growing. On New Years Eve, my brother Scott and his wife Niki had their 2nd child, Sophie. This is the first granddaughter on my side. Also, Shanee and Jesse announced they will be having a baby due June 16th! What is even better is they were able to find out what they were having prior to going back to India, a boy!

The boys are changing all the time and I'm sure there have been a million things happen that I should blog about, but of course, I don't remember. I will update our pictures later as it is not letting me upload any more tonight.

Just fixin' a flat

This is an update on Luke. As many of you know we have been battling torticollis. This is where he looks to one side and tilts his head to the other. In Luke's case he always would look to the right and then tilt his head to the left. We started to notice this around 2 1/2 months because it was causing a flat spot on his head. It progressively became worse and at 5 months after a lot of effort on our part to make sure he was looking to the left at all times, I called the pediatrician. At that point we started therapy going every 2 weeks to see if any progress was being made. We did achieve better range of motion but he still had a head tilt. There is an older lady who is always there at therapy when we are who has torticollis and it isn't something I want Luke to have to go through. She is always in pain and walks around with her ear to her shoulder, has to do therapy frequently, has had a number of surgeries, and also recieves botox injections to help with the tightening of the muscle. Needless to say, if we don't do anything now it would be a long road ahead for Luke, something we don't want him to have to go through. About a month ago we started going to therapy twice a week and schedule an appointment to see a pediatric plastic surgeon who specializes in cranial problems. So, Thursday, Caleb, Luke, and I made our treck to St. Louis in the terrible weather. Luke was such a trooper through it all. It took 5 hours to get there due to the weather, we stopped to feed him and have lunch ourselves. He sat in the highchair, ate, and was such a good baby. We finally made it to Children's Hospital in St. Louis and had to go to radiation. Let me just say walking into that hospital was a huge eye opener. There were kids there that were healthy, just like Luke, but when we walked into radiation there were a number of inpatient children there and while I didn't know what was wrong when them I knew that I was truly blessed that this the only problem we are having. We had to have x-rays done to make sure his plates were not fused together and to make sure there was not a tumor which could cause the problems we are having. Luckily, that is not that case. We met with the doctor and she gave us two options: continue with positioning like we are doing (making him look to the left, more tummy time, more sitting up, etc) with a small possibility that his head may look a tiny bit better or put him in a helmet and see a lot of improvement within a few months. Caleb and I had already prepared ourselves to hear we needed a helmet. I have been doing a lot of research on them and knew that is what I wanted to do. They also took a photo of his head. It was a 3-D photo where they pulled it up on the screen and from the top view you can see where it is starting to effect the placement of his ears and has alot pushed his right cheek out. Another thing we have noticed is the degree to which Luke tilts his head is the degree of his eye level. Basically, Luke could be tilting his head to try to correct his vision. So, another thing that will take time is we are hoping it will level out his eyes so he doesn't have to tilt his head to correct it.

So, here we are, we are going to have a child wearing a helmet. This is common, especially after the back is best campagin. This is also something I would love to make more parents aware of. If you notice your child always favoring a side there is a good chance they are developing torticollis which can cause flattening of the head. We learned alot about the possibilities of why this happened as well. It is very common in multiples, especially baby A. The doctor stated she has not seen a baby b have this problem in 2 to 3 years and even then, it may have only been one or two before that. Baby A tends to be smashed, which is what happened to Luke. His head was basically resting on my left hip and never had a lot of room to move his head, especially towards the end. It is also very common for infants who spent time in the NICU, even though they have OT's and PT's in there with them everyday. When we were getting the mold taken of his head they informed us he was on the lower end of severe plagiocephaly (asymmetrical head shape) so it is a good thing we are doing this. He will have a black helmet that he wears 22 to 23 hours a day. It is great that he gets to wear this in the cooler weather as it tends to make children extremely hot. We are also to the point where it may have been too late to do anything. They like to put kids in the helmet prior to 7 months and we will be 7 months on Christmas. They are going to go ahead and go by the boys adjusted age which is 6 months so we should be ok. It will be worn probably for 4 months. We pick it up on the 28th, go back a week later to make sure everything is fitting ok and then we will go down once a month to have it checked. It will not hurt him at all, it just encourages growth in the other areas that are flattened out. It is light (around 6oz.), only takes a baby a few days, if that, to get use to it. There are a number of websites that have stickers you can put on the helmet to make it fun. So, here we are, fixin' Luke's flat. We already have people stare at us, chase us down asking questions about the boys, all because they are multiples. Now, we have even more of a reason for people to stare but since one of them is wearing a helmet maybe people will feel uncomfortable to ask questions :) We can only hope, we can only hope.

Here is a picture of what a baby with a helmet looks like:
 They aren't all the same, Luke may have a little big different shape to  his but in general, this is what it will look like.

Give me toofers, I need toofers

We're teething up a storm and all my boys want for Christmas are their two front teeth! Never in my life have I seen so much drool. People kept giving us all these bibs and to be honest, I thought about taking a lot of them back because I couldn't understand why someone would need so many bibs.... I now know why.

We hit the six month mark on Thanksgiving Day. They are getting so big and doing so many new things. There are days that I pick them up and think they have grown over the few hours I was away from them! Luke finally got the rolling thing down and now cannot get enough of tummy time but Dane has changed. He was the one always rolling like crazy wherever he wanted to go but now he is content not rolling or ever being on his belly. He would much rather sit up or have us stand him up and if he wants to go somewhere he just scoots on his back. They both are doing great with sitting up. When they first started we had to be right there but now I am comfortable just leaving them there. Sure, we have a few crashes but I have learned to just act like it is not big deal, sit them back up, and we can continue to play without any tears. If I need to go in another room to get a few things done I just put the boppy pillow behind them.

We also have a couple of chunky monkeys on our hands. We went to the doctor the other day and Luke weighed in at 19 lbs. 8 oz. and Dane is close behind at 18 lbs. 2 oz. Considering they started out at 5 lbs 12 oz and 4 lbs 4 oz, we are doing very well. They eat solids three times a day and are doing great with that! If you miss a meal and give them a bottle instead the rest of the day isn't always pretty. They are also starting to drink out of sippy cups and I have started giving them their formula in sippy cups at meals. It took a few cups before we found one that worked and luckily they both use the same one.

We have been struggling with Luke's torticollis and have been doing some stretches and strengthening exercises at home along with a few visits to physical therapy but it has not been working. We are going to start doing a little more intensive therapy going in twice a week and then we will also be going to a doctor in St. Louis in a few weeks, Dr. Woo. Dr. Woo is a plastic surgeon who specializes in DOC bands. Due to Luke's torticollis he has a flat head (the right side) which has caused his right eye to be lower than his left. This causes him to tilt his head to the left to correct his vision. While his ability to look to the left and right has improved, the tilting of his head is significantly worse. The plan is to find a doctor that will put a DOC band on Luke so we can fix the problem. Hopefully Dr. Woo is willing to do it but if not we will be going else where. We had planned on going to a doctor in Columbia but our pediatrician doesn't feel as though he is the correct doctor to go to at this point. While he is a good doctor, he is more likely to want to wait and we need to get this ball rolling on this because we are on a limited schedule. You need to have a child in treatment with the DOC band prior to the age of 1. I'm not sure on the specifics or exactly how often we will have to go to St. Louis if this is the doctor that is going to do it but from what I read they need to adjust the band every two to the three weeks. Treatment usually lasts for 12 weeks and he will have to wear the band 23 hours a day. Luckily he will be wearing this in the winter so it won't be as miserable for him. Caleb likes to tell Luke that he is perfect but he just has a few fine tweeks to be taken care of.

Speaking of Caleb, he has been busy working on his tractor. He decided to go up a class so he took it to Fayette, Missouri to be worked on. We will be going to Gordyville, Illinois in January for his first pull with the new and improved Perkalator. He is very disappointed the Perkalator did not make the Christmas card this year but he wanted me to assure everyone she will be making an apperance next year.

I have been busy keeping up with the boys and work and life in general. I will be starting training for a half marathon in a few weeks. My goal is to have another half under my belt before the boys turn 1. The one I plan on doing is in Kansas City on April 2nd.

Here are pictures of the boys from the past month.

Just to give you a little laugh

This isn't baby related but I read it this morning and had to share! I promise I will be updated soon about the boys.

50 things people think but never say...




1.I wish Google Maps had an “Avoid Ghetto” routing option.





2.More often than not, when someone is telling me a story all I can think about is that I can’t wait for them to finish so that I can tell my own story that’s not only better, but also more directly involves me.



3.I don’t understand the purpose of the line, “I don’t need to drink to have fun.” Great, no one does. But why start a fire with flint and sticks when they’ve invented the lighter?



4.Have you ever been walking down the street and realized that you’re going in the complete opposite direction of where you are supposed to be going? But instead of just turning a 180 and walking back in the direction from which you came, you have to first do something like check your watch or phone or make a grand arm gesture and mutter to yourself to ensure that no one in the surrounding area thinks you’re crazy by randomly switching directions on the sidewalk.



5.That’s enough, Nickelback.



6.I totally take back all those times I didn’t want to nap when I was younger.



7.Is it just me, or are 80% of the people in the “people you may know” feature on Facebook people that I do know, but I deliberately choose not to be friends with?



8.Do you remember when you were a kid, playing Nintendo and it wouldn’t work? You take the cartridge out, blow in it and that would magically fix the problem. Every kid in America did that, but how did we all know how to fix the problem? There was no internet or message boards or FAQ’s. We just figured it out. Today’s kids are soft.



9.There is a great need for sarcasm font.



10.Sometimes, I’ll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the f * ck was going on when I first saw it.



11.I think everyone has a movie that they love so much, it actually becomes stressful to watch it with other people. I’ll end up wasting 90 minutes shiftily glancing around to confirm that everyone’s laughing at the right parts



12.How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?



13.I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.



14.I think part of a best friend’s job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

15.Was learning cursive really necessary?



16.Lol has gone from meaning, “laugh out loud” to “I have nothing else to say”.



17.I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.



18.Answering the same letter three times or more in a row on a Scantron test is absolutely petrifying.



19.Whenever someone says “I’m not book smart, but I’m street smart”, all I hear is “I’m not real smart, but I’m imaginary smart”.



20.How many times is it appropriate to say “What?” before you just nod and smile because you still didn’t hear what they said?



21.I love the sense of camaraderie when a n entire line of cars teams up to prevent a *** from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers!



22.Every time I have to spell a word over the phone using ‘as in’ examples, I will undoubtedly draw a blank and sound like a complete idiot. Today I had to spell my boss’s last name to an attorney and said “Yes that’s G as in…(10 second lapse)..ummm…Goonies”



23.What would happen if I hired two private investigators to follow each other?



24.While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and instinctively swerved to avoid it…thanks Mario Kart.



25.MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.



26.Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.



27.I find it hard to believe there are actually people who get in the shower first and THEN turn on the water.



28.Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.



29.I can’t remember the last time I wasn’t at least kind of tired.



30.Bad decisions make good stories



31.Whenever I’m Facebook stalking someone and I find out that their profile is public I feel like a kid on Christmas morning who just got the Red Ryder BB gun that I always wanted. 546 pictures? Don’t mind if I do!



32.Is it just me or do high school girls get sluttier & sluttier every year?



33.If Carmen San Diego and Waldo ever got together, their offspring would probably just be completely invisible.



34.Why is it that during an ice-breaker, when the whole room has to go around and say their name and where they are from, I get so incredibly nervous? Like I know my name, I know where I’m from, this shouldn’t be a problem….



35.You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you’ve made up your mind that you just aren?t doing anything productive for the rest of the day.



36.Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs? I don’t want to have to restart my collection.



37.There’s no worse feeling than that millisecond you’re sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.



38.I’m always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.



39.“Do not machine wash or tumble dry” means I will never wash this ever.



40.I hate being the one with the remote in a room full of people watching TV. There’s so much pressure. ‘I love this show, but will they judge me if I keep it on? I bet everyone is wishing we weren’t watching this. It’s only a matter of time before they all get up and leave the room. Will we still be friends after this?’



41.I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Dammit!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What’d you do after I didn’t answer? Drop the phone and run away?



42.I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.



43.When I meet a new person, I’m terrified of mentioning something they haven’t already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.



44.I like all of the music in my iTunes, except when it’s on shuffle, then I like about one in every fifteen songs in my iTunes.



45.As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.



46.Sometimes I’ll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.



47.I keep some people’s phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.



48.Even if I knew your social security number, I wouldn’t know what do to with it.



49.Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, hitting the G-spot, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey – but I’d bet my ass everyone can find and push the Snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time every time…





50.I wonder if cops ever get pissed off at the fact that everyone they drive behind obeys the speed limit.

Happy 1st Halloween